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The edit

What your editor changes, and why.

Software writes a first draft. A person decides whether it goes out. Here’s the kind of thing that gets cut, rewritten or sent back before anything carries your name.

These are examples written to show how we edit. As clients give permission, we’ll replace them with real, anonymised edits.

  1. CommentComment on a post about shortening customer onboarding

    Draft: Great post! This really resonates. At our company we help teams solve exactly this problem.

    What went out: The change-management piece is what most teams underestimate. Did the two-week version hold up once the first cohort hit real volume?

    Editor’s note: Too salesy. Ask the question they’re actually thinking about.

  2. Connection noteConnection request to a head of revenue

    Draft: Hi Sarah, I’d love to connect and explore synergies between our companies!

    What went out: Hi Sarah, your post on moving pricing upmarket was the clearest take I’ve read on it. Would be good to be connected.

    Editor’s note: Nobody wants to explore synergies. Say why them.

  3. MessageFirst message after a connection is accepted

    Draft: Thanks for connecting! I wanted to tell you about our platform, which helps companies like yours scale efficiently. Do you have 15 minutes this week?

    What went out: Thanks for connecting, Sarah. Curious: when you moved upmarket, did onboarding time grow with deal size, or did you keep it flat?

    Editor’s note: Don’t pitch in the first message. Start a conversation.

  4. CommentComment on a post about hiring

    Draft: 100% agree! Leadership is everything.

    What went out: Agree on ownership, but I’d push back a little on “hire slow”. The best team I built was hired fast and coached hard in the first 90 days.

    Editor’s note: Agreeing adds nothing. Bring a view of your own.

  5. Follow-up emailSecond email to someone who didn’t reply on LinkedIn

    Draft: Just following up on my previous email. Did you get a chance to look at it?

    What went out: Sarah, one thing I didn’t mention: we wrote up how we cut onboarding to under three weeks without adding headcount. Happy to send it over if it’s useful.

    Editor’s note: “Just following up” reminds them they ignored you. Give them something new.

  6. CommentComment on an industry news post

    Draft: In today’s fast-paced landscape, leveraging synergies is key.

    What went out: The interesting part is the pricing change, not the merger. Mid-market buyers just lost their cheapest option.

    Editor’s note: Sounds like a robot. Say the actual thing.

  7. MessageReply to a prospect asking about results

    Draft: We guarantee a 3x return in 30 days.

    Cut entirely. Nothing went out.

    Editor’s note: Never promise this. Not true, not allowed.

Want to see it on your own drafts?

Book twenty minutes. We’ll look at what you’d post this week and show you how we’d edit it.

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